I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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