weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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