I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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