Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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