Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize