wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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