If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
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.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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