Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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