It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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