great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize