try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize