her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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