Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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