the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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