Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize