drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
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My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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