Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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