Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
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Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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