This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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