I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize