I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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