he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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