Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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