Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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