i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize