She's JV to your varsity
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize