About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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