so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
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i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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