But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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