I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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