he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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