I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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