you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize