Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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