I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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