You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I want is dick and wine.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize