How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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