Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize