i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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