yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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