Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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