the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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