Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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