why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
my liver is dry heaving
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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