Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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