sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize