Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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