Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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