Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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