At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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